This past Summer I took two courses: Survey of Christian Doctrine I & Introduction to Expository Preaching. They were both online, but valuable experiences nonetheless…
It’s been just over a month since we found out we lost our little one. Someone so little that hardly anyone yet knew they even existed. It’s been five weeks since we didn’t get to hear their heart beating at our twelve-week appointment; though we don’t know exactly when our baby’s spirit left us, it seemed that their body measured around seven or eight weeks – their heart had been beating at our seven-week appointment… 152bpm.
Five Mondays ago, we said goodbye, yet so many still don’t know about our baby’s existence. We named our second child Shai, but it’s not like an obituary could be written about them. There is no date of birth to write of. It’s not like we told everyone that we were expecting this sweet baby – though some we literally couldn’t hide it from, of course, whether we wanted to or not – so how, now, could we tell them we lost Shai? We were waiting until we could see some people in person; we were waiting until it was “safe to tell the world” – haha – on Social Media or in our community, but I think I’ve learned there is no safe time, not now that the time has passed from sharing news of joy to sharing news of sorrow mixed in with it.
On Friday, July 12th, we returned home to Littleton for the evening, after our 6th day of OMF’s Orientation & Candidate Course. That day we had pizza for lunch, and spicy Thai food on the way home for dinner. Shortly after dinner, I was experiencing short, sharp pains in my chest bone here and there. I thought nothing of it, and got ready for an early bedtime. Once I got up from bed to use the restroom before falling asleep, I felt a sudden and sharp pain in my chest, more powerful than before. My heart started beating really fast, I started hyperventilating, started losing feeling in my left hand, had trouble swallowing, and over time began to have muscle convulsions all over my body. As Hannah and I thought I was experiencing a heart attack, we called 911 and I was rushed to the local ER. I was given IV’s, had an EKG done, and chest x-rays. After a few hours of tests, and my symptoms started to wane, they explained to me that everything came back fine, and that I was in perfect health. They explained that I most likely had a foodborne illness and had experienced acid reflux (from pizza and Thai food that day) and my brain THOUGHT I was experiencing a heart attack so I started having a panic attack (which brought on the symptoms). They released me hours later and told me to follow up with my doctor in a few days.